Fear has a way of making us believe things that are not true. Panic attacks epitomize this. For more than 20 years, I was convinced that I was going crazy or had some terrible, life-threatening disease. Yet, this was not true. For more than 20 years, I believed a lie. Let me share another story about a man who believed a lie for more than 20 years.

Jacob was a proud father. His twelve sons must have brought him tremendous joy. There was one son, though, of whom he was most proud. His son, Joseph. He was so proud of this young son, that he made a special robe for him–a robe of many colors. That gift to Joseph represented his father’s favor.

The older brothers were jealous of Joseph, and decided to get rid of him. In a fit of envy, they sold Joseph to some Midianite traders. To cover their wickedness, they took his special robe and doused it with the blood of a goat. When they went back to their father, they handed it to him and said, “We found this. Examine it to see whether it is your son’s robe” (Genesis 37:32).

Immediately, Jacob cried out in misery, “It is my son’s robe! Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely been torn to pieces” (v33). His favorite son was gone, or so he thought. He simply saw the evidence, and believed a lie.

Years passed, and Joseph became governor over all Egypt. During the famine, his brothers came seeking food. They did not recognize their younger brother. But, after a few discussions with them, Joseph eventually revealed himself to them.

When the older brothers went back to tell their father that Joseph was still alive–to tell him the truth–Jacob could not believe it (Genesis 45:26). Eventually, Jacob did learn that Joseph was alive. But for more than 20 years, Jacob believed a lie.

When panic strikes, the evidence seems very real. Something must be terribly wrong–a rapid heart beat, shallow breathing, numbing hands, pain, terror. Yet, we do nothing to track down the truth. We simply accept that the evidence is real.

How long have you believed the evidence?

Today, I encourage you to track down the truth. Had Jacob investigated this story of an attack, he might have learned the truth and saved himself years of anguish. Ask God to help you find the truth. Once you find it, “then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).

Prayer: Father, I will no longer believe the lies of my enemy. Reveal to me the truth, O Lord, your truth and love that I may believe and be set free. Give me the strength and courage I need to “track down the truth” whether it’s physical or spiritual, past or present, real or perceived.

Going through my ritual review of emails early one morning, I came across this comment from a gentleman: “I can think of no bigger faith builder than panic disorder. If that is indeed the case, that our faith is being strengthened by this condition, then it is the biggest blessing we could ask for from God.”

I must admit, this is not a comfortable statement. To declare panic attacks a “blessing from God” might seem ludicrous at first. Yet, I must grudgingly confess that my faith is stronger now than it has ever been.

Why? My faith has grown because I am learning to trust God totally, with all my heart, in every area of my life. I am growing to trust him more and more each day. When the fear begins to rise up within me, I could pour energy into fighting it, but I’ve lost that battle too many times. I am learning to trust God and rest during that adrenaline rush. To do that takes faith–faith that God will hold me and keep me safe no matter what happens.

One night I lay in bed, struggling with these mental intrusions. I was so tired, yet my mind was racing. I could feel the fear welling up within me. Next to me, my wife prayed. She knew.

As I lay there ready to leap out of bed, I thought to myself, I could run and give into the fear. Or, I could stay here and trust God. My body buzzed with adrenaline. My legs and arms tingled with fear. Running was the natural response. Yet, God’s voice encouraged me to be still and trust.

Faintly, I prayed, “Lord, help me. Help me trust you more.” The next thing I knew, the alarm went off in the morning. I awoke to a day filled with faith and confidence in my Father. He strengthened me and gave me peace, because I trusted him.

What we experience here on earth–no matter what it may be–should draw us closer to our Father. We must not focus on the problems and circumstances around us. Rather, we must look to our Father for strength and courage.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).

Prayer: Father, if my fear has brought me closer to you, then I will count it a blessing–and not only anxiety, but any trial which works to build my faith and store up lasting treasures in heaven.

Have you ever felt that something you were doing was not right? Maybe it was gossiping about someone or not working the full eight hours your employer paid you for. Your conscience pierces your heart. Looming in the back of your mind, you hear, “I shouldn’t do that.” That is probably the voice of your Father nudging you on to righteousness.

Your conscience is one of the many ways God speaks to you. When the Holy Spirit whispers to you, your heart can hear his gentle, guiding voice. In fact, I believe it is the most common way he draws us and leads us to right standing with him and with others.

Luke knew about this subtle voice of the Almighty. He knew that the Holy Spirit commonly speaks through our conscience, “So,” he said, “I strive always to keep my conscience clear before God and man” (Acts 24:16).

With God, the quiet voice of your conscience will lead you and guide you into a wonderful fellowship with your Creator. It will reveal to you sin and areas of your life that need confession and repentance. The conviction of God is a blessed gift, for without it, we would continue down our path to destruction.

With man, your conscience will convict you when you have wronged someone. God requires that we forgive people as we have been forgiven. Do you still hold a grudge against someone? A grudge is nothing more than a hardened heart toward your conscience.

Do not harden your heart to the voice of God. Ask him to speak through your conscience as loud as he possibly can. When you listen to God through your conscience, you open a door to freedom that leads to peace.

Let your Father call to you, direct you and lead you to a place of rest. Let him speak through your conscience.

Prayer: Father, thank you that you speak to me through my conscience. Keep any callousness from my heart, so that I may be ever sensitive to your voice, opening the doorway to freedom and peace.

Caleb’s inquisitive curiosity keeps him active. Exploring, learning, touching, experiencing. A child’s mind is a sponge that absorbs everything it encounters. Yet, with this innate desire to explore, there exists the danger and pain of consequences.

When he was just 18 months old, we repeatedly told him, “Do not touch the oven. It’s hot. It could hurt you.” Our commands were not to hinder his curiosity, but to protect him–to keep him from harm.

My wife had prepared some wonderful, homemade pizza for dinner one night. As I stood at the counter, I opened the door of the preheated oven. When I turned around to get the pizza, Caleb walked around behind me out of my sight and methodically placed both hands on the inside of the hot oven door. I turned back around just in time to see him scream. My heart broke.

After a quick visit to the emergency room, the doctor diagnosed Caleb with second-degree burns on the palms of both hands. Over the next few weeks, we kept ointment, bandages and socks on his hands. Thanks to God, there was no permanent damage.

When our Father sets boundaries in our life, it’s because he loves us and does not want to see us hurt. He is not stifling our curiosity or creativity with his commands. He is protecting us from physical, mental and spiritual harm.

If we disobey our Father, there will be consequences. The aftermath of disobedience may be felt in different ways. For some, the results are immediately obvious and painful. For others, the pain is hidden and not so obvious. Regardless of how it is felt, there is no avoiding the consequences of disobedience.

“A man reaps what he sows” (Galatians 6:7).

Just as my heart broke to see my son experience the consequence of disobedience, your Father hurts when you hurt. He does not like seeing you in pain. He comes to you ready to work with you on the pain. He’s there to comfort and love you.

If you are hurting, talk to your Father. He knows all about it. You may not even know why you hurt. Ask God to speak to you through prayer and through his Word. Let the Holy Spirit speak through your conscience. Listen for his voice of compassion. Let the healing process begin.

Prayer: Father, I know that your commands are for my good, to keep me from harm and pain. However, my humanity leads me to stray from your path into the dangerous land of the unknown. Forgive me for my stubborn independence, and heal the hurts I have brought upon myself.

One day, I was busy working on my computer when my son stumbled into the room with a handful of toys. He was ready to play, but I really didn’t want to be disturbed at that time. I had so many things to take care of.

“Caleb? Would you please go into your room and play?”

Instead of responding to my request, he just plopped down and began to play. I was quick to respond. “Caleb!” I said with a stern voice. His eyes instantly shifted to mine. He knew from the tone of my voice that he had done something wrong.

When I looked into his eyes, my heart melted. Just by raising my voice slightly, I had pinched his tender heart. His eyes expressed the hurt, the condemnation. I quickly got up and started talking with Caleb. I wanted to make things right with him.

Afterwards, I wondered how God, my Father, would have handled a situation like that. How would he deal with outright rebellion to a command? Would he raise his voice? Would he knowingly hurt me with piercing words?

No. I don’t think he would.

God is a caring Father, full of compassion and mercy, delicately approaching his children. His voice is tender and gentle–a voice of love–not harsh or condemning. I’m not saying that God does not punish his children, for he disciplines those he loves (Proverbs 3:12a). But when you fail, your Father woos you and draws you back to him. He doesn’t bite back with devastating words. He wants you to come and sit in his lap and talk about what happened.

“Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool” (Isaiah 1:18).

Your Father invites you to talk with him about your mistakes and failures. Tell him your needs, your desires, your weaknesses. Share you heart, and he will share his.

Prayer: Father, thank you that you gently correct me, that you invite me to come to you and share my heart. Help me to treat others with this same tender love.

The man must have owed the king millions. The guards grabbed him one day while he was at work. They dragged him into the king’s court. He didn’t resist, for he knew why he was being summoned.

As he lay prostrate before the king, an attendant read a list of his debts. “Five and a half million dollars in taxes and penalties.” The amount sent chills up the man’s spine. He knew it was more than he could ever pay.

“Take this man, and throw him in jail,” ordered the king. “We will sell his land, his children and his wife to pay off his debt. Then, he will work as my slave for the rest of his life.”

The man began to weep. “Please be patient with me, king. I will pay back your debt. I love my family. Please do not take them away. I will do what it takes to pay you back.”

The king was moved with compassion by the man’s obvious cry for mercy. “Sir, I can see that your heart is broken. Today, let it be known that this man’s debt is canceled. Nothing shall be required of him. Send him home to his family. Sir, you are a free man.”

The man left for home free from his debts. As he crossed the street, he encountered one of his workers. In fact, this worker owed him 50 dollars. “Where’s my money? You’ve owed me 50 bucks for almost a year. I want it now!”

The poor servant cried out, “Oh master, I know I owe you this money. Please give me some time to pay you back.”

The man screamed, “No! I can’t wait any longer. Off to jail until you pay it all.”

One of the king’s workers saw all this, and was amazed at how this man reacted. Word got back to the king, and the king summoned this man back to his court. “Sir, I canceled your debt of millions, and now you hold someone captive for 50 measly dollars? You will be punished.” In anger the king turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed (Matthew 18:23-34).

Jesus told his followers, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart” (v. 35).

It should be obvious from this parable that unforgiveness can lead to torment and torture. It may not be physical, but it is a torture of the soul that many of us know. Is there someone in your life you haven’t forgiven?

If there is someone, ask God to show you how to release them. Forgiveness is a wonderful gift. We should share it with others.

Prayer: Father, forgive me of my sins as I forgive those who sin against me.

I enjoy flying. Traveling at 30,000 feet provides such a breath-taking view of God’s beautiful creation. On one particular flight, as the pilot started his slow decent, he announced that the weather in Dallas was overcast, muggy and cold. Yet, as we flew high above the clouds, the sky appeared clear and beautiful. The warmth of the sun beamed through the tiny window, and I could see for miles. The land below was covered with a thick layer of clouds resembling a fluffy blanket of pure, white cotton.

The plane tilted and began its dive into the thick, blinding stratum of white. As we entered the clouds, the brightness of the sun immediately turned dim. A thick haze quickly replaced my clear view of the heavens. I could barely see beyond the tip of the wing. For a few minutes, I lost all sense of direction in the confusion of the clouds.

As we slowly descended below the clouds, the murky weather became obvious. I could see the ground, but it was dark and dreary. I realized that this is what sin is like.

Walking with our Father with a pure conscience–blameless and cleansed–is a wonderful gift. We can feel the warmth of his presence and see clearly with eyes of understanding. There’s no confusion, no darkness. All is beautiful in the light of God’s grace.

When we sin, the light and warmth of God’s presence grows dim. We enter into the clouds of confusion and chaos. We can no longer see clearly because the gloomy weather of our soul becomes overcast with guilt and shame. Fear soon follows.

As Ezra prayed, ” . . . our sins are higher than our heads and our guilt has reached to the heavens” (Ezra 9:6b).

What do we do? How do we respond when flying through the clouds of fear and guilt?

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Our Father is a forgiving Father. There is no God like him. Call upon his mercy. Call upon his strength to pull you up high above the clouds of sin.

Prayer: Father, forgive me of my sin. Thank you that when I confess my sins, you remove them as far as the east is from the west, revealing a beautiful, Son-filled sky.

How many times have you just wanted to escape to some place where there is no fear? A place where you can rest and be at peace?

David longed for a place like that.

“My heart is in anguish within me; the terrors of death assail me. Fear and trembling have beset me; horror has overwhelmed me. I said, ‘Oh, that I had the wings of a dove! I would fly away and be at rest–I would flee far away and stay in the desert. I would hurry to my place of shelter, far from the tempest and storm’” (Psalm 55:4-8).

Many times, I get so weary from struggling, fighting, wrestling with this fear. My mind becomes zapped of all mental energy. “Brain overload,” I call it. Add to that the stresses of work, all the activities to which I so willingly say “yes” and the nameless other distractions. All of it adds up to a desire to fly away and be free.

“Oh that I had the wings

of a dove–I would fly far away from the fax machines, the deadlines, the telemarketing phone calls during dinner, the congestion of 5 o’clock traffic. I would fly away to a place of solitude and rest. A place where the fear cannot find me–a shelter in the shadow of the Almighty.”

Jesus told us of a place where we can go: “When you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen” (Matthew 6:6a).

Fly away to that secret place and shut the door. Escape for a few minutes from the cares of the world. Open your heart to God, and plunge right into his presence. When you are in his presence, fear cannot touch you.

Enjoy this place of refuge, this place of safety. Enjoy God.

Prayer: Father, I commit this place to you as my room of refuge, my solace from the storm. I long to fly away from the anxieties of this world, and so I come to you. As I commune with you, grant me a reprieve from the distractions of my life, the problems and the pain. Shelter me in your shadow.

For anyone who has ever experienced the bondage of fear and panic, an overwhelming sense of hopelessness usually accompanies this gripping affliction. Without hope, the future is very bleak.

Yet, Paul encourages us to, “…be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (Romans 12:12)

The hope we have is not like any other hope in this world. Our hope comes from the Lord. “No one whose hope is in [God] will ever be put to shame…” (Psalm 25:3a).

Today, I ask you a hard question: where is your hope? I know most of you reading this hope to be free from fear and panic. But, where is that hope directed? Do you hope in a doctor and his wisdom? Do you hope some new medication will finally work? How about that new counselor? Do you hope in your own abilities to beat this thing?

Please don’t get me wrong, God can work through doctors and medication and counselors, but if your entire hope is placed in these alone, you will fall short of the peace God has waiting for you.

Another command Paul gives is to be patient in affliction. This command, I must admit, is not a pleasant one. I have met many people who are now free from this debilitating disorder. Their freedom did not come overnight. It took time and patience, birthed out of prayer, faith and hope. Paul may not have known about panic attacks when he wrote this, but God did. Our Father calls us to be patient.

Finally, be faithful in prayer. Although we may not understand or comprehend the “why’s” of our condition, we must persevere in prayer. In that quiet time with your Father, he will impart hope and strength, peace and confidence.

Prayer: Father, my only hope is you. Forgive me for placing my trust in worldly and temporal remedies. Give me patience as I hope and pray for the freedom only you can bring.

Do you ever feel forsaken by God? Abandoned? Rejected? Does God seem so far away that no matter how high you reach, he is unreachable still? Do you feel as if you are standing in a desert with no water, no shade, no rest in sight? Do you cry out in prayer but hear no obvious response to your pleas of desperation?

Job felt this way: “Why do you hide your face and consider me your enemy? Will you torment a windblown leaf? Will you chase after dry chaff?” (Job 13:24-25).

King David experienced this loneliness: “Why, O LORD, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?” (Psalms 10:1).

Even his own son Jesus felt rejected by his Father. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” (Matthew 27:46).

The Bible is full of people who felt rejected and abandoned by God. Loneliness and rejection filled their hearts. Questions and doubts filled their minds when God didn’t respond the way they thought he should.

Many times, what we feel and what is real are quite different. Our faith should not be based on our feelings, but on the truth. When you read through the Bible, you are reading truth. Applying that truth–even when your feelings are saying the opposite–is a bold step of faith.

God says,

“Don’t be afraid” (Luke 12:7).
“I love you” (Isaiah 43:4).
“I rejoice over you” (Zephaniah 3:17).
“I will protect you” (Psalms 20:1).
“I will deliver you” (Psalms 50:15).
“Trust me” (John 14:1).

Throughout the Bible, we are instructed to trust God. Trusting God means that you don’t follow your feelings–you follow God. Feelings can deceive you. Never trust your feelings when they go against the Word of God. The enemy will speak lies to your mind and cause your feelings to flounder. When you follow your feelings and let doubt rule in your mind, you will be “like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind” (James 1:6).

This is so true with fear and panic. Adrenaline races through your body. A tornado of feelings and doubts whirls through your mind. Yet, God whispers to your heart, “Don’t listen to those thoughts. Trust me.”

When you take that step of faith and trust God in the middle of your storm, God’s hand will reach down and touch you. The peace and confidence of knowing God is there will flood your soul. It is a wonderful peace–a peace that passes understanding.
Today, open your heart to faith: faith to not follow your feelings; faith to listen to God; faith to trust your Father.

Prayer: Father, I understand that your peace is not a feeling, but a fact. Remind me whenever I feel anxious or afraid that you will never leave me. Do not allow me to be fooled by fleshly feelings, but help me to live by faith in your unfailing truth.