Archive for the 'panic attacks' Category

living in the present


March 30th, 2008

Is time travel really possible? Physically, no. But traveling back and forth through time mentally is a common experience for many of us.

The past haunts many. For some, the past holds memories of wounds that have yet to heal. For others, it may be full of guilt and shame. The past can be a closet full of uninvited thoughts. When you open the door to that closet, you focus your attention on the “should have’s” and “could have’s.”

The future can be a fearful place to live, as well. The bombardment of “what if’s” wreaks havoc in your mind when you live for tomorrow. No one knows what will happen tomorrow or the next day, or the next. The future is a dark tunnel, never allowing you to see what lies ahead.

We can only truly live in the present. There is no way to physically escape it. No matter where you are or what time it is, it is always “now.” The only time, the only breath, the only heartbeat you are guaranteed is the one you have right this instant.

God calls us to live in the present–physically and mentally. He does not want our minds drifting off into our forgiven past or wandering away into our unknown future. He wants us to focus on today. He wants us to listen to his voice today.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has trouble enough of its own” (Matthew 6:34).

Prayer: Father, cleanse me from the sins and heal me from the wounds of my past. Rescue me from the worries of the future, that I may take one day at a time, saying, “This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

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yesterday’s victory


March 16th, 2008

The children of Israel had just defeated Jericho miraculously. Confidence was high. Morale was peaking. This new generation of warriors just experienced their first victory through God’s wall-crumbling power.

The next battle in their path was the small city of Ai. After their reconnaissance, the spies advised Joshua to send out only a few men. It was an easy victory… or so they thought.

However, when they attacked the city, the Israelites were chased into retreat and defeated. The soldiers came back to Joshua beaten and bloodied. They couldn’t overtake Ai. God was not with them.

Israel lost courage. Confusion and doubts began to rise up in their minds. Confidence hit an all time low.

What Joshua didn’t realize was that someone in the camp had disobeyed God. Against God’s command, Achan kept some of the spoil from the Jericho victory for himself and buried it under his tent. That disobedience kept the mighty men of Israel from defeating the small city of Ai.

After dealing with the sin, the Lord gave Joshua a new plan to defeat the small, but powerful city. With God’s help, the Israelites destroyed Ai.

When I read this story, it reminds me of my own journey into the Promised Land of peace. One day, I experienced a miraculous victory over panic attacks. I trusted the Lord and rested through the attack. My confidence ran high. I was walking proud.

Like Joshua, though, I headed out presumptuously into the next day. Panic again pounced on my mind. Dismay and doubts came crashing in. Where’s God? I thought. Why isn’t this working like it did yesterday?

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God should be our guide through each battle we face regarding panic and fear. If we remove all sin from our lives, seek his guidance and obey his instructions, we will be victorious. We will take the Promised Land of peace.

“Give us aid against the enemy, for the help of man is worthless. With God we will gain the victory, and he will trample down our enemies” (Psalm 60:11-12).

Prayer: Father, thank you for every victory I have experienced in the past because I know they came only through you. Reveal to me the times when I “went out on my own strength” and failed. Teach me how to seek your guidance and direction each morning as I face the battlefield for that day.

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dinosaur day


February 24th, 2008

It was dinosaur day at the local mall. The giant robots were so realistic. The mammoth models would move and growl like real dinosaurs. It was an exciting time for the kids.

When Caleb was 3 years old, he was fascinated with dinosaurs We figured he would love to see the exhibit. As we walked into the mall, his eyes lit up when he saw the figures from afar.

As we came closer to the largest one, the T Rex, the growl grew louder and the eyes more fierce. Caleb was filled with excitement…and fear. His voice quivered when he pointed to the giant that hovered over us.

I tried reassuring him that it was only a model and that dinosaurs don’t live anymore, but he was still consumed with the lifelike figures.

“Caleb? Hold my hand and I will help you. There’s no need to be afraid.” As we walked through the mall, his hand gripping mine, he began to enjoy the displays.

“Daddy! Daddy! Look at that one!” he shouted with excitement. “Over there! Look over there!” From fear to excitement, Caleb enjoyed the exhibit. Most of the time, he held firmly to my hand. Other times he gripped tightly around my neck.

He felt secure. He felt safe. His fear turned to joy when he walked with his father.

“For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you” (Isaiah 41:13).

From a dinosaur model to the realities of life, fear takes on many forms. Although the reasons for the fear, in many cases, may only be perceived, our response is very real.

Let me encourage you to take hold of your Father’s hand. Heed his words, “Do not fear.” When you take your Father’s hand and start walking, what once seemed fearful will become exciting. You can walk past the “dinosaurs” of life with a new confidence, a new peace, a new perspective, holding your Father’s hand.

Prayer: Father, take my hand in yours and lead me through the crises of life, turning my doubt into excitement, my fear into anticipation. Help me to trust you, hold on to you, in every situation.

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water walking faith


January 27th, 2008

It was dark that night on the Sea of Galilee. Jesus told his disciples to take the boat out. Then, Jesus came to them walking on the water. At first, they were frightened. But Jesus spoke to them and calmed their fears.

As soon as Peter saw that it was Jesus, he asked him, “Lord, if it’s you, tell me to come to you on the water” (Matthew 14:28). So Jesus called Peter to come to him. Peter’s faith must have been soaring. He climbed out of the boat and started walking on the water toward Jesus.

Can you imagine what must have been going through his mind? “I’m walking on water! This is incredible! I can’t wait to tell my friends about this. Who will believe me?” The joy and excitement of experiencing this miracle must have been overwhelming.

Then, something happened. His focused shifted. As he walked towards Jesus, something else caught his attention. The wind and waves churned around him. A storm was brewing. Peter started to worry. “Oh no. This is getting a little unstable. I don’t think I can do this anymore.” His water-walking faith quickly succumbed to water-walking fear.

“But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’” (Matthew 14:30).

When those fearful thoughts came crashing in, Peter did something very important: he cried out to Jesus for help. Jesus reached down and pulled him up, and they walked back to the boat.

The next time you step out of your comfort zone, remember two things: don’t take your eyes off Jesus. If you do, you will only see the wind and waves of unstable circumstances, and your faith will falter.
Secondly, if you do start to sink, simply cry out, “Lord Jesus, save me!” He will reach down from heaven, pick you up and walk with you back to the safety of your boat. He will not let you drown.

Prayer: Father, help me to keep my eyes always on you, unshaken by the storms surrounding me. Thank you that when I do take my eyes off you and feel myself sinking, all I have to do is call on you and you will save me from my fears.

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tracking down the truth


December 30th, 2007

Fear has a way of making us believe things that are not true. Panic attacks epitomize this. For more than 20 years, I was convinced that I was going crazy or had some terrible, life-threatening disease. Yet, this was not true. For more than 20 years, I believed a lie. Let me share another story about a man who believed a lie for more than 20 years.

Jacob was a proud father. His twelve sons must have brought him tremendous joy. There was one son, though, of whom he was most proud. His son, Joseph. He was so proud of this young son, that he made a special robe for him–a robe of many colors. That gift to Joseph represented his father’s favor.

The older brothers were jealous of Joseph, and decided to get rid of him. In a fit of envy, they sold Joseph to some Midianite traders. To cover their wickedness, they took his special robe and doused it with the blood of a goat. When they went back to their father, they handed it to him and said, “We found this. Examine it to see whether it is your son’s robe” (Genesis 37:32).

Immediately, Jacob cried out in misery, “It is my son’s robe! Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely been torn to pieces” (v33). His favorite son was gone, or so he thought. He simply saw the evidence, and believed a lie.

Years passed, and Joseph became governor over all Egypt. During the famine, his brothers came seeking food. They did not recognize their younger brother. But, after a few discussions with them, Joseph eventually revealed himself to them.

When the older brothers went back to tell their father that Joseph was still alive–to tell him the truth–Jacob could not believe it (Genesis 45:26). Eventually, Jacob did learn that Joseph was alive. But for more than 20 years, Jacob believed a lie.

When panic strikes, the evidence seems very real. Something must be terribly wrong–a rapid heart beat, shallow breathing, numbing hands, pain, terror. Yet, we do nothing to track down the truth. We simply accept that the evidence is real.

How long have you believed the evidence?

Today, I encourage you to track down the truth. Had Jacob investigated this story of an attack, he might have learned the truth and saved himself years of anguish. Ask God to help you find the truth. Once you find it, “then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free” (John 8:32).

Prayer: Father, I will no longer believe the lies of my enemy. Reveal to me the truth, O Lord, your truth and love that I may believe and be set free. Give me the strength and courage I need to “track down the truth” whether it’s physical or spiritual, past or present, real or perceived.

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faith builder


December 23rd, 2007

Going through my ritual review of emails early one morning, I came across this comment from a gentleman: “I can think of no bigger faith builder than panic disorder. If that is indeed the case, that our faith is being strengthened by this condition, then it is the biggest blessing we could ask for from God.”

I must admit, this is not a comfortable statement. To declare panic attacks a “blessing from God” might seem ludicrous at first. Yet, I must grudgingly confess that my faith is stronger now than it has ever been.

Why? My faith has grown because I am learning to trust God totally, with all my heart, in every area of my life. I am growing to trust him more and more each day. When the fear begins to rise up within me, I could pour energy into fighting it, but I’ve lost that battle too many times. I am learning to trust God and rest during that adrenaline rush. To do that takes faith–faith that God will hold me and keep me safe no matter what happens.

One night I lay in bed, struggling with these mental intrusions. I was so tired, yet my mind was racing. I could feel the fear welling up within me. Next to me, my wife prayed. She knew.

As I lay there ready to leap out of bed, I thought to myself, I could run and give into the fear. Or, I could stay here and trust God. My body buzzed with adrenaline. My legs and arms tingled with fear. Running was the natural response. Yet, God’s voice encouraged me to be still and trust.

Faintly, I prayed, “Lord, help me. Help me trust you more.” The next thing I knew, the alarm went off in the morning. I awoke to a day filled with faith and confidence in my Father. He strengthened me and gave me peace, because I trusted him.

What we experience here on earth–no matter what it may be–should draw us closer to our Father. We must not focus on the problems and circumstances around us. Rather, we must look to our Father for strength and courage.

“For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal” (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).

Prayer: Father, if my fear has brought me closer to you, then I will count it a blessing–and not only anxiety, but any trial which works to build my faith and store up lasting treasures in heaven.

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your Father’s invitation


December 2nd, 2007

One day, I was busy working on my computer when my son stumbled into the room with a handful of toys. He was ready to play, but I really didn’t want to be disturbed at that time. I had so many things to take care of.

“Caleb? Would you please go into your room and play?”

Instead of responding to my request, he just plopped down and began to play. I was quick to respond. “Caleb!” I said with a stern voice. His eyes instantly shifted to mine. He knew from the tone of my voice that he had done something wrong.

When I looked into his eyes, my heart melted. Just by raising my voice slightly, I had pinched his tender heart. His eyes expressed the hurt, the condemnation. I quickly got up and started talking with Caleb. I wanted to make things right with him.

Afterwards, I wondered how God, my Father, would have handled a situation like that. How would he deal with outright rebellion to a command? Would he raise his voice? Would he knowingly hurt me with piercing words?

No. I don’t think he would.

God is a caring Father, full of compassion and mercy, delicately approaching his children. His voice is tender and gentle–a voice of love–not harsh or condemning. I’m not saying that God does not punish his children, for he disciplines those he loves (Proverbs 3:12a). But when you fail, your Father woos you and draws you back to him. He doesn’t bite back with devastating words. He wants you to come and sit in his lap and talk about what happened.

“Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool” (Isaiah 1:18).

Your Father invites you to talk with him about your mistakes and failures. Tell him your needs, your desires, your weaknesses. Share you heart, and he will share his.

Prayer: Father, thank you that you gently correct me, that you invite me to come to you and share my heart. Help me to treat others with this same tender love.

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forgiving and releasing


November 25th, 2007

The man must have owed the king millions. The guards grabbed him one day while he was at work. They dragged him into the king’s court. He didn’t resist, for he knew why he was being summoned.

As he lay prostrate before the king, an attendant read a list of his debts. “Five and a half million dollars in taxes and penalties.” The amount sent chills up the man’s spine. He knew it was more than he could ever pay.

“Take this man, and throw him in jail,” ordered the king. “We will sell his land, his children and his wife to pay off his debt. Then, he will work as my slave for the rest of his life.”

The man began to weep. “Please be patient with me, king. I will pay back your debt. I love my family. Please do not take them away. I will do what it takes to pay you back.”

The king was moved with compassion by the man’s obvious cry for mercy. “Sir, I can see that your heart is broken. Today, let it be known that this man’s debt is canceled. Nothing shall be required of him. Send him home to his family. Sir, you are a free man.”

The man left for home free from his debts. As he crossed the street, he encountered one of his workers. In fact, this worker owed him 50 dollars. “Where’s my money? You’ve owed me 50 bucks for almost a year. I want it now!”

The poor servant cried out, “Oh master, I know I owe you this money. Please give me some time to pay you back.”

The man screamed, “No! I can’t wait any longer. Off to jail until you pay it all.”

One of the king’s workers saw all this, and was amazed at how this man reacted. Word got back to the king, and the king summoned this man back to his court. “Sir, I canceled your debt of millions, and now you hold someone captive for 50 measly dollars? You will be punished.” In anger the king turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed (Matthew 18:23-34).

Jesus told his followers, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart” (v. 35).

It should be obvious from this parable that unforgiveness can lead to torment and torture. It may not be physical, but it is a torture of the soul that many of us know. Is there someone in your life you haven’t forgiven?

If there is someone, ask God to show you how to release them. Forgiveness is a wonderful gift. We should share it with others.

Prayer: Father, forgive me of my sins as I forgive those who sin against me.

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clouds of sin


November 11th, 2007

I enjoy flying. Traveling at 30,000 feet provides such a breath-taking view of God’s beautiful creation. On one particular flight, as the pilot started his slow decent, he announced that the weather in Dallas was overcast, muggy and cold. Yet, as we flew high above the clouds, the sky appeared clear and beautiful. The warmth of the sun beamed through the tiny window, and I could see for miles. The land below was covered with a thick layer of clouds resembling a fluffy blanket of pure, white cotton.

The plane tilted and began its dive into the thick, blinding stratum of white. As we entered the clouds, the brightness of the sun immediately turned dim. A thick haze quickly replaced my clear view of the heavens. I could barely see beyond the tip of the wing. For a few minutes, I lost all sense of direction in the confusion of the clouds.

As we slowly descended below the clouds, the murky weather became obvious. I could see the ground, but it was dark and dreary. I realized that this is what sin is like.

Walking with our Father with a pure conscience–blameless and cleansed–is a wonderful gift. We can feel the warmth of his presence and see clearly with eyes of understanding. There’s no confusion, no darkness. All is beautiful in the light of God’s grace.

When we sin, the light and warmth of God’s presence grows dim. We enter into the clouds of confusion and chaos. We can no longer see clearly because the gloomy weather of our soul becomes overcast with guilt and shame. Fear soon follows.

As Ezra prayed, ” . . . our sins are higher than our heads and our guilt has reached to the heavens” (Ezra 9:6b).

What do we do? How do we respond when flying through the clouds of fear and guilt?

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

Our Father is a forgiving Father. There is no God like him. Call upon his mercy. Call upon his strength to pull you up high above the clouds of sin.

Prayer: Father, forgive me of my sin. Thank you that when I confess my sins, you remove them as far as the east is from the west, revealing a beautiful, Son-filled sky.

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where is your hope?


October 7th, 2007

For anyone who has ever experienced the bondage of fear and panic, an overwhelming sense of hopelessness usually accompanies this gripping affliction. Without hope, the future is very bleak.

Yet, Paul encourages us to, “…be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer” (Romans 12:12)

The hope we have is not like any other hope in this world. Our hope comes from the Lord. “No one whose hope is in [God] will ever be put to shame…” (Psalm 25:3a).

Today, I ask you a hard question: where is your hope? I know most of you reading this hope to be free from fear and panic. But, where is that hope directed? Do you hope in a doctor and his wisdom? Do you hope some new medication will finally work? How about that new counselor? Do you hope in your own abilities to beat this thing?

Please don’t get me wrong, God can work through doctors and medication and counselors, but if your entire hope is placed in these alone, you will fall short of the peace God has waiting for you.

Another command Paul gives is to be patient in affliction. This command, I must admit, is not a pleasant one. I have met many people who are now free from this debilitating disorder. Their freedom did not come overnight. It took time and patience, birthed out of prayer, faith and hope. Paul may not have known about panic attacks when he wrote this, but God did. Our Father calls us to be patient.

Finally, be faithful in prayer. Although we may not understand or comprehend the “why’s” of our condition, we must persevere in prayer. In that quiet time with your Father, he will impart hope and strength, peace and confidence.

Prayer: Father, my only hope is you. Forgive me for placing my trust in worldly and temporal remedies. Give me patience as I hope and pray for the freedom only you can bring.

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