The Desert – Finding God in the Dry Places
The desert. A place of desolation and isolation. No food. No water. Nothing to sustain you.
When I think about “desert experiences,” two stories from the Bible come to mind.
The first is about the children of Israel. After their miraculous deliverance from Egypt, they were only weeks away from entering into the Promise Land. Yet, when faced with “giant” opposition, doubts entered their hearts, and they were forced into the desert where they wandered for 40 years (Numbers 14).
The second is about Jesus. After his baptism in the Jordan River, he was led into the desert for 40 days where he was tested (Matthew 4).
Obviously, “desert experiences” are not pleasant, even painful. Can anything good come from them? Deuteronomy touches on a possible purpose for these wilderness experiences:
“Remember how the Lord your God has led you in the desert for these forty years, taking away your pride and testing you, because he wanted to know what was in your heart. He wanted to know if you would obey his commands” (v. 8:2).
For the children of Israel, God miraculously fed them each day. God was their source. Jesus fasted during his 40 days in the desert. And like the children of Israel, God was his source.
The desert is a place where nothing natural will sustain you. It’s a place where things don’t always go the way you planned. Sometimes, it’s a place where you question your own faith in God–a place that reveals your heart.
Any experience with panic or fear is a desert experience. It’s not pleasant. It’s a difficult place to be. But, it’s also a place where God becomes your source:
Your source of peace.
Your source of rest.
Your source of provision.
Be encouraged that God is with you. Yes, it may be difficult, and it may be lonely. But your Father is with you–holding you, guarding you, watching over you. And remember, you are going through this experience “so that things will go well for you in the end” (Deut. 8:16).
Prayer: Father, this desert of anxiety and panic is very lonely. It’s a place where there seems to be no life, no joy. Lord, I know that here in the desert, I am being tested. Nothing here will sustain me except you. I put my trust in you, Father.
Responding in Faith
I am learning more and more about faith each day. In the past, faith–as I understood it–was the ability to muster up enough belief in something that it would come to pass. “If you just had enough faith…” Faith, I am learning, is more than what you believe–it’s how you respond according to what you believe.
Faith is perfected through testing. When things come crashing in all around you, faith is what you stand on. When all of your “religion” and formulas begin to crumble, faith is what’s left. You can read about the great people of faith in Hebrews 11. It talks about how they believed God was good no matter what happened to them.
I thought about Job. Here was a man who lost it all: his family, his possessions, his health. All his friends reasoned and assumed his suffering was because of sin. Job, on the other hand, did not lose his faith. He trusted God, even if God was going to slay him (Job 13:15).
Then, there’s Jesus, the ultimate in suffering. His faith was perfect, yet he was tested. Even when his friends deserted him and the cross was ahead, his faith was that God knew what he was doing. He trusted God. He trusted his Father. He had faith that through his suffering, God would be glorified.
“We have around us many people whose lives tell us what faith means. So, let us run the race that is before us and never give up. We should remove from our lives anything that would get in the way and the sin that so easily holds us back. Let us look only to Jesus, the One who began our faith and who makes it perfect. He suffered death on the cross. But he accepted the shame as if it were nothing because of the joy that God put before him. And now he is sitting at the right side of God’s throne. Think about Jesus’ example. He held on while wicked people were doing evil things to him. So, do not get tired and stop trying” (Hebrews 12:1-3).
Prayer: Father, sometimes it’s hard to stand strong when things all around me are crumbling in. But, I know that faith is holding on to you when I don’t feel like holding on. Faith is choosing to trust you when I can’t see clearly, think clearly or even do things correctly. Give me the strength I need to trust you more.
Safely over the Mountains – Facing Difficulties
Do you ever feel like things keep crashing in around you–that nothing is going right in your life? Right when you start see some light at the end of tunnel–crash!–another setback. You press on, weary and tired, hoping that you can get over these mountains of pain and discouragement.
Habakkuk felt the same way. He opens his book with these words: “How long, O LORD, must I call for help? But you do not listen! ‘Violence!’ I cry, but you do not come to save. Must I forever see this sin and misery all around me? Wherever I look, I see destruction and violence. I am surrounded by people who love to argue and fight”(Habakkuk 1:2-3).
So many times in my life, I get overwhelmed. Like Habakkuk, I cry out, “How long, Lord, must I call for help? Aren’t you listening? Don’t you see my pain?” It seems like my prayers are going no higher than the ceiling.
What are you facing right now? Are things overwhelming for you? Are you being pressed in on every side? Are your prayers answered with only painful silence?
I want to encourage you with the final words of Habakkuk. Throughout this prophetic book, the pain and misery of the people are obvious. There seems to be no hope, no future, no peace. Yet, the final three verses of this book give us the key on how to respond when we feel so alone and abandoned:
Even though the fig trees have no blossoms,
And there are no grapes on the vine;
Even though the olive crop fails,
And the fields lie empty and barren;
Even though the flocks die in the fields,
And the cattle barns are empty,Yet I will rejoice in the LORD!
I will be joyful in the God of my salvation.
The Sovereign LORD is my strength!
He will make me as surefooted as a deer,
And bring me safely over the mountains.
Habakkuk 3:17-19
God is your strength! He is your salvation. Through Christ, you are God’s precious child. When you put your trust in him, he will make your path clear and give you the strength to pass “safely over the mountains”.
Prayer: Father, I cry out to you for peace, for help, for strength. Like Habakkuk, I will rejoice in you in spite of my circumstances. I will be joyful and choose to love you, choose serve you and choose worship you, for it’s through these sacrificial acts of service that I grow strong in you.
God is waiting for you, to give you peace
“The LORD waits for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the LORD is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for him to help them” (Isaiah 30:18).
In the first part of this verse, who’s the one waiting? Who is the one being patient? God is. He’s the one waiting for you to come to him. How long has he been waiting? A day? An hour? A month? A lifetime?
But why is God waiting for you to come to him? Is he waiting to pounce on your every mistake? Is he waiting to condemn you for your actions? Is he going to point out your faults and failures? Is that why he is waiting for you?
No. He is waiting for you to come to him so that he can show you his love and compassion “for the LORD is a faithful God.”
Instead of running to our heavenly refuge when things come crashing in on us, we often run away from God to a counterfeit refuge–a beer, a television show, a cigarette, a romance novel, a busy project, a tranquilizer–something to distract our minds from the storm of uninvited thoughts.
In our time of need, we should run to God with all of our heart and ask him for help. Listen carefully to the very next verse: “He will be gracious if you ask for help. He will respond instantly to the sound of your cries” (v. 19).
Instantly! Did you catch how fast this infinite, timeless God will answer your pleas for help? Instantly! “Well Russell,” you may respond, “I’ve prayed and prayed for peace but this fear still haunts me. God is not answering my cries for help instantly.” Maybe God’s definition of “instantly” lies in the next two verses:
“Though the Lord gave you adversity for food and affliction for drink, he will still be with you to teach you. You will see your teacher with your own eyes, and you will hear a voice say, ‘This is the way; turn around and walk here’” (v. 20-21).
How many of you have experienced this drink of affliction and food of adversity? I’ve feasted on these things many times. Yet, God promises that he will teach us through this affliction and adversity. He will guide us with his gentle voice, telling us which way we should walk.
Maybe God’s definition of “instantly” is this: the time it takes him to guide us through this affliction and adversity, teaching us to trust him no matter what happens. Maybe God’s “instantly” has an eternal purpose, a deeper objective rather than just freeing us from our present discomfort. Maybe the length of our “instantly” is based on our willingness to surrender our lives, our decisions, our ambitions to God so that he can teach us to completely trust in him with everything in our life.
Prayer: Father, I cry out to you right now. By faith, I know you will respond instantly with love and compassion.
hopes and dreams
When it comes to hopes and dreams, I love the story of Joseph. He had 10 older brothers and one younger brother. His older brothers were jealous of Joseph, because he was dad’s favorite son.
One night, Joseph had a dream where he saw 11 stacks of wheat bowing down to his stack. And, in a second dream, he saw the sun, moon and 11 stars bowing down to him as well. As Joseph shared his dreams with his brothers, they became even more jealous. “Are we going to serve you little brother?”
Joseph’s dad sent him out one day to check on his brothers. As he approached them, his jealous brothers decided to kill him. But when he arrived, they bound him and threw him into a pit. The next day, the oldest brother talked them out of killing him, and instead, they sold Joseph to some passing traders for 30 pieces of silver.
Joseph spent the next 20 years in prison. Shackled and bound with chains, Joseph served as a slave. Why? Because he shared his dreams.
How many of you have hopes and dreams–things you want to accomplish in your life? Do you feel like you’ve been thrown into a pit of discouragement and despair, only then to be dragged off to a prison of fear where you are bound and shackled–completely limited in the things you can do?
While Joseph was in prison, things began to happen. He found favor with his captors. God was working in Joseph’s life, and through the years, he was elevated in position and authority. Finally, after 20 years in prison, he became second in command over all of Egypt.
Due to a massive famine in the land, predicted by Joseph, his brothers came to Egypt seeking food. But, they didn’t recognize their younger brother. They bowed down to him pleading for food to eat. Joseph’s dream had come to pass.
“[God] called down famine on the land and destroyed all their supplies of food; and he sent a man before them–Joseph, sold as a slave. They bruised his feet with shackles, his neck was put in irons, till what he foretold came to pass, till the word of the LORD proved him true” (Psalms 105:16-19).
Joseph had lots of things to be angry about. He could have fallen deep into despair and depression, because it seemed that his hopes and dreams had been thwarted. Yet, he remained faithful to God, serving him and trusting him, even though he didn’t know why he was in prison and suffering at the hands of the Egyptians. Yet, when his brothers came to him, Joseph said, “What you meant for evil, God has used it for good, to save your lives” (Genesis 50:20).
I don’t know why we go through the fear and anxiety we do. There are probably lots of different reasons why. But, I know that it’s not what we are meant to experience. Yet, God can use it for our good. He can bring those hopes and dreams to life in ways that we may not understand or even agree with. God works in mysterious ways.
I have done so much with my life in the past few years because of the peace God has given me. For the first time in my life, my hopes and dreams are becoming reality. And in your life, I know that God can do that same. I am sure of it.
Prayer: Father, help us to rekindle those hopes and dreams you have birthed in our heart. Give us the strength we need to walk out those dreams. Guide us with your presence through your Holy Spirit.
forgiving and releasing
The man must have owed the king millions. The guards grabbed him one day while he was at work. They dragged him into the king’s court. He didn’t resist, for he knew why he was being summoned.
As he lay prostrate before the king, an attendant read a list of his debts. “Five and a half million dollars in taxes and penalties.” The amount sent chills up the man’s spine. He knew it was more than he could ever pay.
“Take this man, and throw him in jail,” ordered the king. “We will sell his land, his children and his wife to pay off his debt. Then, he will work as my slave for the rest of his life.”
The man began to weep. “Please be patient with me, king. I will pay back your debt. I love my family. Please do not take them away. I will do what it takes to pay you back.”
The king was moved with compassion by the man’s obvious cry for mercy. “Sir, I can see that your heart is broken. Today, let it be known that this man’s debt is canceled. Nothing shall be required of him. Send him home to his family. Sir, you are a free man.”
The man left for home free from his debts. As he crossed the street, he encountered one of his workers. In fact, this worker owed him 50 dollars. “Where’s my money? You’ve owed me 50 bucks for almost a year. I want it now!”
The poor servant cried out, “Oh master, I know I owe you this money. Please give me some time to pay you back.”
The man screamed, “No! I can’t wait any longer. Off to jail until you pay it all.”
One of the king’s workers saw all this, and was amazed at how this man reacted. Word got back to the king, and the king summoned this man back to his court. “Sir, I canceled your debt of millions, and now you hold someone captive for 50 measly dollars? You will be punished.” In anger the king turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed (Matthew 18:23-34).
Jesus told his followers, “This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart” (v. 35).
It should be obvious from this parable that unforgiveness can lead to torment and torture. It may not be physical, but it is a torture of the soul that many of us know. Is there someone in your life you haven’t forgiven?
If there is someone, ask God to show you how to release them. Forgiveness is a wonderful gift. We should share it with others.
Prayer: Father, forgive me of my sins as I forgive those who sin against me.
a pure joy
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:2-4).
“Consider it pure joy…” What? A pure joy? How can I consider this fear, this panic, this pain a pure joy? The battle is too strenuous. The nightmare too real. It seems the fear does nothing but tear down and destroy. Destroy my peace, my sleep, my desires, my dreams.
And it’s not just one trial, but “trials of many kinds.” Oh Lord, help me! Why so many trials?
“…because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
If I wanted to teach my son how to swim, I could read to him the various techniques. I could teach him how to hold is breath. I could talk about the water, and how to stay afloat. We could even go down to the pool and watch people swim. But eventually, he would have to get into the water. In fact, the best situation would be to teach him while he was in the water. That’s where he would learn the fastest.
Many of us are “in the water” of fear. You can read and study and learn all day long about what you should do, but eventually you will need to get “in the water.” God builds our perseverance by daily testing our faith. That’s the only way he can teach us to trust him.
Prayer: Father, I admit that it is difficult for me to consider my trials a joy. However, I pray that this testing will strengthen me and build my faith so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
learning to catch
“We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us” (Romans 5:3b-5).
Rejoice in suffering? Using the words “rejoice” and “suffering” in the same sentence seems like an oxymoron. How can anyone tell me to rejoice in my sufferings? I am sure they never knew the fear, the terror, the bondage of panic attacks.
Why do we suffer? Why do we go through struggles and disappointments in life? Why do we have to learn to “deal” with problems like agoraphobia and life-restricting fears?
I wish I had all those answers. But, I don’t. I can, however, share what the Word of God says. Our Father tells us that suffering produces perseverance–the supernatural ability to endure, the courage to stand firm and see the hand of God. Perseverance comes through being tested and challenged continuously.
When my son was two years old, I wanted to teach him to catch a ball. Since the motor skills and coordination of a two-year old are not fully developed, this proved to be a challenge. Each day, I would toss the ball up and he would throw his hands around like he was trying to catch it. His consistent dropping of the ball was occasionally interrupted by a successful catch.
“Yeah!” we all shouted. He kept trying. He persevered. In a matter of weeks, he was able to catch the ball more consistently. His perseverance resulted in the joy of success.
In the same way, we are faced with challenges every day. These challenges, as many of you can relate, are challenges that most people may not have to face. Going to the mall, driving a car, going some place by yourself or even going to bed at night can be colossal challenges for anyone battling panic disorder.
Yet, each challenge provides us with:
an opportunity to grow,
an occasion to learn, and
an option to persevere.
When we learn to persevere through our sufferings, we develop a more Godly character–a character which enables us to trust God through any circumstance. That Godly character births hope–hope that no matter what comes our way, God can be trusted.
Whenever you face a challenge, instead of asking God to remove the obstacle, ask him for the strength to persevere. Let him develop in you character and hope. You will learn to catch that ball. Soon, you will be so good at catching that you’ll be able to handle anything that is thrown your way.
Prayer: Father, thank you for my sufferings past, present and future because I know that through them I will become more like your Son. Give me the strength to persevere and the hope to rejoice no matter what my situation may be.
wandering through the wilderness
The wilderness. For forty years, the children of Israel wandered around in the wilderness. What could have taken 11 days, took four decades.
When I think of the wilderness, I think of a dry, barren place. A place where there is no refreshing water, no cool breeze–no life.
In many ways, I see fear and panic disorder like a wilderness. A place in our heart where there is no life, no growth–only a painful hot wind that scorches the joy from our lives.
When I first became a Christian, I used to cry out to God, “Lord, please help me out of this wilderness of fear and doubt.” For a while, I studied the children of Israel and their trek through this arid place. As I searched and searched for a reason why these people wandered for 40 years, I came across this scripture:
“Remember how the LORD your God led you all the way in the desert these forty years, to humble you and to test you in order to know what was in your heart, whether or not you would keep his commands. He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD” (Deuteronomy 8:2-3).
The Israelites’ experience in the desert was a time of testing, a time of training, a time of transformation. The Lord was teaching his children how to trust in him, how to feed off of every word that comes from his mouth.
Do you remember why they were sentenced to 40 years in the desert? When the people heard about the giants in the land, they did not trust that the Lord would give them victory. They doubted. They came to the “Promised” Land, yet they did not believe in God’s promise.
Let me encourage you that there is a Promised Land:
A land of peace.
A land of growth.
A land of joy.
A land of rest.
A land of abundance.
Trust God. He will give you victory over the giants of fear and panic. He will go before you and defeat the enemy. Put your trust in him, and he will deliver you, “so that in the end it might go well with you” (Deuteronomy 8:16b).
Prayer: Father, I humble myself before you that I may not doubt your strength as the Israelites did. I trust you to guide me to the Promised Land of peace.
the prodigal
I heard a story one time about how shepherds dealt with wayward sheep. When a rebellious sheep would repeatedly drift off from the flock, the shepherd would be forced to break one of its legs. Then, he would gently bind it up and carry the sheep from pasture to pasture as he lead the flock. While the injured sheep could not walk, it depended completely on the shepherd. Later, after the leg was healed, the sheep still stayed close to the shepherd and never drifted away again.
“Blessed is the man whom God corrects; so do not despise the discipline of the Almighty. For he wounds, but he also binds up; he injures, but his hands also heal” (Job 5:17-18).
Am I saying that panic attacks are discipline from the Lord? Maybe for some. For others, maybe not. I do know that these attacks force me to stay close to my Shepherd. When I drift away from him, things all around me seem to crumble, and the anxiety increases. My only choice is to run back to him.
Let me give you a more personal story:
My dad is a dog trainer. One particular dog he had was a great hunting dog, but he wouldn’t obey. My dad would send him out for a bird, and the dog would sniff it out. But, after that, he would run off somewhere and not come back for quite a while. Since my dad hunted near highways and rivers, it was dangerous for the dog to stray off. So my dad bought a shock collar.
Soon, the dog took off again. He had run so far away that I could barely see him. Then, my dad pressed the button, and you could hear a faint “arrrf.” In the distance, you could see the dog high-tailing it back to where we were. He wasn’t walking–he was running. After two episodes with this collar, the dog never needed it again.
Do you think God takes pleasure in allowing these attacks to come? Do you think the shepherd enjoys breaking the leg of his sheep? Do you think my dad was excited about shocking the dog? No. Is this temporary pain needed? In some cases, yes.
In my life, I feel like panic attacks are God’s shock collar for me. Spiritually, I drift away from my Shepherd. I hear my Master’s voice at a distance, but I don’t come running. I continue wandering further and further away–sometimes into dangerous areas. Yet, one attack gets me high-tailing it back to God as fast as I can run.
Prayer: Father, you are the Good Shepherd. Thank you for caring enough about me to “break my leg” when necessary and to carry me on your strong shoulders. Continue to do whatever it takes to keep me close to you.