Comment posted Learning to trust God no matter what by Kris.
dear russ, you are such an inspiration. your stories feel me with hope. i know god is my only way to obtain peace from this desolate island of fear. keep me in your prayers. god bless.
Kris also commented
- And i was curious if you have ever felt like a different person. i feel like fear has completely changed me. im only 19 but i feel 80
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dear russ, you are such an inspiration. your stories feel me with hope. i know god is my only way to obtain peace from this desolate island of fear. keep me in your prayers. god bless.
Thank you for the kind words!
And i was curious if you have ever felt like a different person. i feel like fear has completely changed me. im only 19 but i feel 80
Yeah, there’s a change that happens, but hopefully, it’s a good change, a God change. For me, I feel like fear warped my perspective of this world, but thankfully, the Lord really empowered me to renew my mind and change the way I think about fear. So, with God in your life, the change that happens is a good one.
Kris, I know what you mean. It feels as though your are “off.” As though your mind has double-vision and you have been bent into an odd form of your old self. This gradually leaves as you recover. Nothing is broken, nothing will not be restored. And you will find that you are the stronger for it.
Lean on Him and not your own understanding.
God Bless
Dear Russ,
I’ve written before, but it has been years. I get your weekly devotion, and I’m turning to you and the others here. As I write, I am panicking, crying, feeling like throwing up. For 21 years of my life I was oblivious to panic attacks and depression, but for the last 14 years they seem to crop up. It has been years since I’ve been here (questioning my life, my marriage, my sexuality, my existence, who I am). I feel so far from anyone who will understand, and I don’t want to share with my husband (he’s supported me in this for so many years, and I know it is hard on him). Now, I can’t burden our little boy w/ mommy crying. I just want to go in his room and snuggle. I’ve been on medicine for years & it effects my romantic drive. I want to be a good wife to my husband in every way. I afraid to try a different med b/c when I have before (10 years ago), I felt more desperate. I would pray for cars to run into mine because I would kill myself. I thought that it would give me clarity if I had a near death experience. I wouldn’t do this to my family, but I know that eventually they’d be okay. In heaven, I wouldn’t have to deal with this. No I won’t hurt myself. I just feel lost. Please pray for me.
I’m sorry to hear about what you’re going through. I know it’s gotta be hard. I want to encourage you that you can get through this. I know you can! It sounds like the enemy has been pounding you with lies and shame. Let me encourage you to check into this really amazing book called Free Yourself, Be Yourself. It’s a book about understanding at shame works in our life to destroy every area, like peace, marriage, sexuality, etc. I think you would find the truths very, very encouraging.
Praying for you this morning.
Russ